©1990 The Zen Environmentalist |
Direct from Tibet on a Lear Jet (Yeah: Pollution)
To Teach a Workshop on the secret manipulation of The ZEN ENVIRONMENTALIST Only $5000 for 5 days. Bring a lot of Toilet Paper, you’ll need it. 1: Everyone please bring individual cars. The funkier the better,earn bonus stars for the best smog machine................ (Car Pooling Frowned On) 2: Bring Healthy food with you, Imported by Lear Jet produced by Multi-Cultural Poverish Farm Slaves. (Earn Bonus Stars) (YEAH POLLUTION) 3: Come by PLANE or Jet Stream, if no room lobby Boeing NEED MORE SMOG to Deplete more Ozone. (get a better Tan and Earn Bonus Stars) (Yeah : MORE POLLUTION) 4: Recycle: Sort out Garbage must ensure Segregation of Trash before Dump Burial. Sorted Buried Trash is important (Earn Bonus Stars) (Yeah:SORTED POLLUTION) 5: Order LUMBER from CLEAR-CUT, build MONSTER HOUSE using as many Toxic Materials ; Paint, Varathane, Arborite, Linolieum, Styrofoam, Particleboard ect. (Earn Bonus Stars) (BUILD with POLLUTION) 6: Find something to PROTEST, While no one is looking Apply for Government Grants /UIC/Welfare/Donations (Earn Bonus Stars, one for every $1 you can leech) (ECO POLLUTION) 7: Create your Neighbors Downfall using a new twist of words. Con your Tribesman, give them penny’s they will follow. (Many Bonus Stars here) (MIND POLLUTION) 8: Chant while riding the talking stick. WE ARE ALL PERFECT , WE ARE ALL PERFECT, WE ARE PERFECT . (Bonus Stars for All Who Chant) (AIR POLLUTION) 9: Subdivide a Tree-Farm, leave trees standing so no one can SEE THE TRUTH. (Bonus Stars) (Pollute and Deplete the Ground Water) (HIDDEN POLLUTION) 10: Hug a Tree and Trample it to Death. Invite more to come, Take BARK for Souvenirs kill tree. (Bonus Stars) (IGNORANT POLLUTION) Pre-Requisite
for enrollment 1: Must Enjoy Doing Workshops......via..JET POLLUTION.................... (More ACID RAIN) 2: Must Enjoy Burning Fire-Wood.....creating Nitrogen Oxide................ (More ACID RAIN) 3: Must Enjoy Burning Gasoline.....Making LOTS of Carbon Monoxide..(MORE ACID RAIN) 4: Must Enjoy living of.....the Land and Demanding Government Hand-Outs. (Real Rad) (More ACID DRAIN) 5: Must Enjoy Being a HYPOCRITE, Never Tell the Whole Truth only what they need to hear. (This is Called BEING HIP ) (More ACID BRAIN) 6: Must Buy Jewelry...... PROCESSED with TOXINS. (Dumped in Ocean) (ACID Fed Oysters) ENROLL NOW: Time is running out ................................. Sorry........................time just ran out, We Really Didn’t want your Kind Anyways. Now say Om...Om...Om....Rub Your Beads Three Times...... Altogether now. Remember Don’t Bite The Hand That Feeds You.......... might lose your penny and GREAT Om.............Won’t be your friend anymore. Pass Over More TOILET PAPER.........here we go again. A Mockery of LIFE and LIVING on SWAAMY Island. Any Resemblance to Reality or Truth is Purely Coincidental, Characters Aren’t Real, Truly Fictional. D.O.P.E. Department Of Polluted Environments Call 1-800-SCREW-CORTES |
©The Zen Environmentalist 1990
Note: The above flyer was handed out in 1990 to a Public
Meeting at the Mansons Community hall on Cortes Island, Canada .
Since that time nothing has changed except a few Greens Greeds have become Very
Wealthy and the Island has gotten alot more Polluted.
©The Zen Environmentalist 2001